You'll Miss Me When I'm Gone
by BlushingNinja
Summary: <html><head></head>Set after the events of the first Inter-High. After moving to England Makishima wishes more then anything to reconnect with his best friend/rival Toudou. However not everything is so easy and when he is recruited to work as a translator for a group of models working a fashion show at his company, he may get his wish but not as he hoped for. Spoilers for the manga</html>
1. Chapter 1

**He doesn't race any more.**

Blinking in surprise at the text flashing on the screen before him, Makishima was sure he must have misread it.

**Like at all? Only solo events?**

Staring at the annoying little pen and note scribbling across the bottom of the screen, the lanky man sat back against the wall behind his small bed, waiting. It was the first time he'd worked up the courage to contact one of Hakone's members after his relocation, but since he was struggling to maintain any contact with Toudou it had been his only option.

**He doesn't ride at all. He works at the inn and travels but he hasn't ridden in months.**

Falling back against the bed, his head throbbing with an incoming headache, the green haired boy sighed. Pen picking back a message to Hakone's ex-ace sprinter, he thanked Shinkai for his time and logged off.

Rolling onto his back as he closed his laptop, Makishima stared up at the low ceiling of his room with tired eyes. Ever since his move to the UK, his relationship with the loud-mouthed mountain god had digressed massively. It may have had something to do with the manner of their parting, the quick phone call before his trip to the airport had been the last time they'd spoken and in hindsight it had been a bad idea. Ever since his decision to move had been finalised with his family, his approach to informing the Hakone ace had been playing heavy on his mind. Replaying situations over and over in his mind never ended in a positive outcome. It was always tears. Tears from the smaller man that would ultimately lead to a broken heart and sorrow for the both of them. So he'd pushed the news aside and never broached the subject, at least until the very last minute.

Standing before the wide windows of the airport lounge he'd fiddled with his phone for almost an entire hour before finally putting through the call.

"Maki-chan." Jinpachi's cheerful tone wasn't dimmed even at the late hour, indeed he may not have even been sleeping. It wasn't honestly that late, but from waking up that morning and to coming to his current position, the day had felt endless. "How are you feeling? I wish the weather would pick up, I am so cold. What was for dinner? It better not have been-"

"I'm leaving." The silence through the phone lasted for a millisecond as Jinpachi bounced back, tenacious as ever.

"You coming for a visit?" Clearing his throat, Makishima shook his head as he stared out at the vast concrete runways beyond the glass.

"Not this time. I'm going to see my brother."

"In the UK?" Frowning at his phone, the Souhoku ace couldn't help but crack a smile. Of course Toudou would remember where his brother lived, even if he couldn't remember telling him. The boy remembered everything, always.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Bring me back a T-shirt. Like one with the flag one it, they're super cute." Wincing, the tall boy took a deep breath, struggling to keep the conversation on track.

"I'll have to send one over." Laughing through the phone, Jinpachi didn't wait for him to continuing, jumping instead into a spiel about his need for a new wardrobe and how he hoped his extra hours at the inn would cover it.

"Jinpachi, just listen for a minute."

"Maki-chan?" It shouldn't be this hard, not really. He'd already said goodbye to everyone else. His parents, his best friends, the entire cycling club and yet it was almost impossible to get the words out to his arch rival. The never ending pain in his ass but also his greatest admirer. It shouldn't be this hard. "You okay?" Squaring his shoulders and catching his reflection in the dark window surface, Makishima rubbed the back of his head awkwardly.

"I'll be moving over there." The pause was longer this time, but it didn't take long for the sleeping beauty to snap back.

"Oh my god! That's so cool, I suppose you'll go to university over there? Can I come visit? I've never been to England before. It'll be the perfect place to pick up a new wardrobe, everything will be so Western."

Patiently waiting for his chatter to dull to a lull, Makishima paced back and forth along the window.

"When do you fly out? We'll have a party or something." Pausing mid step, the tall cyclist's stomach churned as he thought over the reply.

"In about an hour." There was no break in the silence this time, it continued until Makishima worked up the courage to go on. "Yeah, it was pretty sudden. Last minute flights are usually the cheapest-."

"Liar." If he'd ever heard Toudou sound so angry it had never been directed at him, even while riding and in their many races. Licking his lips nervously, Makishima tried another approach.

"I just didn't want to upset you."

"Well I'm pretty fucking upset, Maki-chan." This was ridiculous, he was getting all worked up over nothing. There was no reason he should be feeling this guilty, Toudou was his friend, nothing more. So why was this so hard?

"Look, I just didn't know what to say and I'm sorry. You can still visit, I'll put you up and everything."

"I don't think so." The usual shrill and cheerful tone was gone, replaced by a flat monotone. "I know where we stand now, Maki-chan. Good bye." The click of the final dial tone left the Souhoku climber feeling completely dejected. Staring at his phone as he collapsed into the row of uncomfortable airport seating, the dull aching pain in his chest intensified ten fold.

And that had been the end of it. He'd sent a final message before he'd boarded the plane and another online message once he'd touched down in the chilly UK. From then on it had been nothing. He had seen the green online indication of Facebook every night since and yet every message he sent went unanswered. It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, especially now that the spring was coming to an end and the mediocre British summer was rolling in. His brother was out every night of the week, parties and social gatherings straight after work was a regular routine. But none of it interested Makishima, he wasn't the best in any social situation, and now outside of his high school years he was beginning to appreciate the time spent with his friends and clubs.

And Toudou. Finding his phone empty of any messages or voice calls was a strangely lonely predicament. A year beforehand he would have been thrilled to not have his voice mail clogged up with annoyingly needless messages from his rival. But now he would have done anything just hear that ever-so-endearing nickname in Jinpachi's voice.

Being alone had never really bothered him. People and crowds in many ways had often been a pain, an unwanted distraction away from cycling and studies. Now locked away on the other side of the world, everything felt a lot harder without the motivation of company and friends. Rolling onto his side and pulling the blankets up high over his head, the ex climber awaited the morning with sour content.

Adjusting to riding his bike in the city wasn't as much of a struggle as he'd first assumed. Much of his route to work was along the flat, winding streets of Piccadilly and thankfully his office kept a neat, safe bike rack in the underground parking lot. But there was no challenge in it. Logic reasoned his desire to reconnect with Toudou was linked with his overwhelming desire to climb mountains again. And maybe a small part of that was true.

Shedding his spandex before entering the office floor, Makishima kept his head down, making a beeline for the same studio he shared with his brother and their associates. He had been overjoyed at the opportunity to work with his brother's company. Fashion, like cycling, was something he prided himself on and at the offer of a paid internship he was ecstatic. But the fantasy of working for an actual fashion label had quickly faded after his first couple of weeks.

Everyone was always so loud and dramatic, his brother included, and they always wanted so much from him. No one had time for a part time intern who had university on top of his studio duties. At least they did appreciate his input on some of the collections and the make-up artists were always buying him free coffees.

Settling at his desk, head aching from the lack of sleep, Makishima jumped as his brother breezed past and pulled a face, followed quickly in turn by the head of their department.

"Summer designs!" When the department head yelled everyone jumped. Keep his head down as he pulled out his laptop, pad and sketch tablet, Makishima listened to the rambling of the flamboyant man as he listed off the styles of the coming season. "Are you taking this down?" Nodding dumbly, Makishima posed his hand over the note as if taking notes continually, pausing only as the older man strode past his desk and scoffed. "I need you and your brother at your best for the coming show, three new models are coming in from Japan and on all accounts the bitches are divas. So I'll need you to act as translators and peace keepers."

Groaning internally, but plastering on a dumb smile Makishima nodded once and put his head down, wishing desperately to be out of his boss' line of sight and to get on with his new designs. "Did I hear a 'yes, sir'?" Cleaning his throat with a small cough, the skinny boy was happy to kiss ass if it meant getting out of the line of fire.

"Yes, sir."

Sipping the scalding hot cup of coffee, the cyclist cursed his lack of a traveller's cup. This was the third cup of coffee he'd been through today and each time the Starbucks down the street made him pay a stupid tax for dinky paper cups. Tapping his pencil against the blank page and searching through his work roster, he crossed out a Saturday shift in favour of giving it to his brother. No doubt a bunch of famous international models would want to party it down on Saturday night and he wanted no part of it. Not when he could be at work comfortably by himself, eating take away and watching Project Runway. All the while pinning over Toudou, of course.

Nearly slapping himself, the green haired man groaned as he stared at his upcoming work roster. This show was going to be a nightmare. Dropped on them straight in the middle of the spring season, they were expected to pump out a flood of designs and prototypes for the early Asian summer. He had thankfully been assigned only three full outfits with one set of accessories for each. One male design, two female. Thankfully unisex sets were his thing and while bright, plastic necklaces were the in thing for the next couple of months, his distaste for them was legendary.

"Lost in your own little world?" Superficially, the Makishima brothers may have looked remarkably similar with their unique hair and tall frames, but their natures couldn't be more different. Charming and outgoing, Daisuke Makishima was the shining example of Western assimilation. His English was almost pitch perfect and with his stylish and relaxed nature, people flocked to him like moths to a flame. In comparison, Yuusuke had always appeared very dull and in many ways had never lived up to his brother's grace or reputation. Except maybe in cycling, he had a line of medals to prove that. But while his brother was always the life of the party and was never without friends or company, the very real reality of how lonely Makishima really was had been hitting home hard.

"Just working out the translator duties. And he's sure there is only three of them?" Nodding as he nicked his brothers large coffee, Daisuke pulled a face at the bitter taste.

"Yup, the rest are Chinese. This is disgusting, do you not know how to use sugar?" Snatching back his cup and lording over it protectively, Makishima turned his laptop towards his pestering older sibling.

"I don't drink it for enjoyment, I drink it for necessity. How does this fit with you? I'm happy to do the day shifts so long as they don't need me at university or training." Humming as he placed a set of large, square glasses atop his nose, Daisuke scanned the file quickly.

"It should be fine, but roster yourself on for the Saturday shift as well, even if you don't plan to do it, log it in."

Frowning as he turned the computer back and typed his name in, Makishima went to ask why only to have his brother beat him to the punch. "After eight pm on a Saturday is like triple over time. Only working four hours is like double an eight hour work day. Just do it, even if you just fob it off, it's totally worth the cash." There was sense in that, extra money was good and he was giving up his Saturday night for it. They didn't know he'd be doing nothing on that Saturday, but he could have been very busy for all they knew. Getting reimbursed for that trouble would be very worth it.

"So do you need a hand with your collection pieces?" Rubbing the back of his head, Makishima shrugged.

"I don't think so, if I have any trouble submitting it to textiles I'll call you." Ruffling his younger brother's hair with a none-too-gentle hand, Daisuke stood and stretched.

"Not a problem, just make sure it doesn't take up too much of your time. University is important too and mum would kill me if you failed because we pushed you too hard here." Waving him off with a smile smirk, Makishima tried in vain to fix his tousled hair.

"Won't be a problem. Please keep your hands to yourself." Laughing as he turned to head to his office, Daisuke paused and spun on his heel.

"So Playground in the city is having a bottomless drink event tonight. You in?" Shrugging nonchalantly, Makishima went back to his laptop.

"Ask me later." Tisking as he left, the older Makishima rolled his eyes.

"You'll just say no anyway."

The ride home was always harder. His brain was never firing correctly and he'd nearly been cleaned up by overly eager motorists twice. Bike parked safely in its cage, Makishima slipped off his cleats before entering the apartment to the sound of music and the smell of rich perfume.

"Dai, your brother is here," a female voice called out from the kitchen as Makishima skulked past and down the hall towards his bedroom.

"Ah ha, excellent." Dashing out of the living area, neatly pressed designer shirt half unbuttoned, Makishima pulled a face as his brother offered him an open beer. "Come on, just one," he was prompted, having the ice cold bottle pushed into his hand before he could protest. "Please come out tonight."

The whine in his brother's tone was just embarrassing and the ache in his head said otherwise.

"Next time, I want to work on these designs before uni study."

"But you have all weekend for that." Pouting ridiculously, Daisuke put an arm around his brother's shoulders.

"Yuu, you have no friends. No social life, all you do is sit around and study like a weird hermit." Tugging away from his brother's grasp, Makishima shook his head, leaning against a nearby door frame, beer still in hand.

"I cycle." Groaning exasperatedly, his brother nodded, but refused to admit defeat.

"Yeah and you're good at it, but what about life, like actual life with people and things. At least get a girlfriend or something."

Taking a slow sip of his beer, Makishima shrugged, not meeting his brother's eye.

"I'm not good with girls or people in general."

"I've noticed," Daisuke said dryly. "But you could at least make the effort and try. If you get married early then maybe mum and dad would get off my back about it so much."

"Selfish," Makishima said, washing his words down with another sip of beer. "And who says I want to get married?" Rolling his eyes, the older boy ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know, knock some chick up or something. They just want grandkids really."

"Who says I like women?"

Opening his mouth and closing it slowly like a fish, Daisuke was suddenly lost for words. Laughing at his brother's speechless state, Makishima continued off down the hall to his bedroom. Only to have his brother call out just as he reached his door,

"But if I'm gay and you're gay, who's flying the plane?" 

Checking his clock for the third time in as many minutes, Makishima ran a hand over his eyes and groaned. This was no fun, university study was no fun, these designs were coming along at a snail's pace and everything just seemed to be slow going. Glancing at his laptop, he pulled up a tab and clicked on to Facebook for a mindless distraction. Reading down the lists of statuses, check ins and photos, he glanced at the chat box.

**Toudou Jinpachi [online]**

His heart jumped a little as he pulled up the chat box, fingers typing slowly but gaining speed as he sent through a message.

**My brother wanted me to go out again tonight. Social interaction is such a drag, you'd probably love it. Cute Asian boys are just adored over here, so you be treated like a real God no doubt, especially at the clubs.**

Pausing as he looked over what he'd written, his finger lingered over the backspace key, but instead pressed enter. Typing a letter's worth of a message in a matter of minutes, Makishima had outlined his new duties for the upcoming fashion show, his issues with Starbucks paper cups and bitched about the drivers who'd nearly ran him over. By the end of his rant, he sat back and read back through the entire message inbox.

It looked stupid, just him replying to himself over and over. The only thing that gave him any hope was the small shadowed text of SEEN that popped up after each message. Maybe that made it worse. He knew Toudou was reading them and yet still hadn't responded. Not that there was much to respond to, it wasn't as if he'd ever poured out his heart online or anything. Outlined how lonely he really was or how much his heart hurt every time the thought of his rival crossed his mind.

**I'm sorry.**

Sent.

Seen.

**But I'm sure you're tired of hearing that.**

Sent.

Seen.

**I miss you.**

Sent.

Seen.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes: So Daisuke's canon name is Ren? I messed up. I fixed it. **

* * *

><p>Being called into the office on a Saturday was about as fun as having a blind seal cut your hair. Dragging himself into the foyer, Makishima was glad he had actually driven with Ren this morning instead of riding. He'd been up late, researching some of the latest international designs straight out of Milan, and before he'd noticed it was four am. Rubbing his sore, tired eyes as his phone blared a far too happy ringtone at him, his boss' secretary was very polite in informing him that he would be required for a quick brain storming session with his project group that morning.<p>

Since the show had thrown all their schedules out of whack, the weary-eyed designers all looked about ready to collapse as they took their seats in the allocated conference room.

"Coffee?" Ren all but yelled. Makishima wasn't sure when he'd come home the night before, but as he was still wearing the same shirt as yesterday and was talking three times louder then anyone else in the room, it was an easy deduction that he'd probably just come in from the clubs at the time of the call in. Grumbling responses came from the majority of the group, which included Makishima. Hopefully they could get the whole collection pounded out in a little less than four hours, then they could go home and sleep it off. Glancing at his brother as he slumped forward onto the table, he wasn't entirely sure the man would last even that long.

"Who has things?" Turning his head to the side to stare down the group before him, Ren blew his fringe out of his eyes. "What ideas did everyone compile yesterday?"

Pulling out his laptop and sketch folder, Makishima pushed the designs across the table to his brother while passing others up from table. Spreading them out across the table, Ren stood up, hands on his hips.

"Okay, 20 designs total. We'll pick those who got the furthest. Yuu gets two, these two." Putting aside his male and one female design, his brother pushed ahead, picking certain colours and textures based on summer and the popularity of the stock. After half an hour of argument and debate among those chosen, Ren nominated a woman to take the notes to the textile section, and then waited for replies on yes and no.

"I would hate to work in textiles" Holding his head in his hands as he cracked another Berocca into a glass, Ren chugged down the beverage in seconds. "They're going to be working all throughout the weekend to make this order and then the PR guys are probably going into melt down." Gritting his teeth, the older boy stretched out lankily in his chair. "Who drops a show pre-season in the middle of the month?" Chugging his coffee, lack of sugar and milk not even a factor as he downed it as quickly as possible, Makishima silently questioned the logic of it all as well.

Waiting by the phone to hear back from the textile department, their approval came through just after lunch time. There was no use in waiting around for Ren to finish, so instead Makishima caught a bus to the corner nearest their apartment and managed to drag his feet home rather then giving in to the temptation to just lay down in the gutter outside and sleep. Collapsing into bed, the caffeine running through his veins made it difficult to rest, but that didn't stop the tall boy from pressing his face deeper into his pillow to block out the very present sunlight seeping through his curtains. If he slept enough now he could get up in the late afternoon and read through some university work. It was all a balancing act, like staying upright on a bike, a skill he knew well and yet always pushed the boundaries of with his own style. Now was no different, balancing between work and university, rest and motivation. The only thing he'd thrown out of that balance was friends, especially Toudou. Shaking the thoughts of the mountain god from his head, Makishima closed his eyes and focused on his breathing, intent on getting at least some sleep in the time he could. It was all a balance.

Monday came far too quickly. Sunday barely felt like a day off when there were readings and online quizzes to complete. Leaving it down to the wire was probably a bad idea, but one Makishima couldn't avoid in current situation. Thankfully the academic day went by without issue, head down over his laptop, no one had spoken to him all day save the lecturers wanting in-class discussion. These days were easy, others were not.

The Tuesday saw him booked in for a full day at the office. His brother had greeted and entertained the Japanese models since their arrival Monday afternoon but now it was his turn to act as interpreter. Hopefully they'd all be an attractive set of females. His brother has said surprisingly little to him on the subject that morning, shrugging off most questions with an expert ease that came with his sly and often disingenuous personality. Squaring his shoulders and pumping himself up for the long day ahead, Makishima tied back his hair in a long ponytail to minimise the hassle of having it out all day. Following Ren through the office to the photography studio, Makishima felt a small zing of happiness at seeing two of his designs on the racks and ready for alternation. So completely engrossed in his feeling of success, he almost walked straight into the back of his brother, who'd stopped at a polite distance from the flashing cameras and the models behind them.

"Clumsy this morning," the older man scolded, stepping aside to give Makishima a better view. "Now there's twelve models in the total production, but we only have to worry about these three. I'll send their profiles and resumes across to you later. They're mostly just young up-and-comers, that chick over there has some credits to her name, the dude is a no-name and this one has some online success, but only got signed a couple of months ago." Nodding at his brother's assessment, Makishima's eyes followed the slope and shape of each woman as the pair swapped out, make up and hair perfect as the they posed for the camera with practice ease.

Standing back a couple of step as they were pushed aside for wardrobe to muscle in, Makishima checked his phone for his brother's email before glancing back up at the switching sets of models.

His jaw dropped. The bottom fell out of the floor and the world rocked.

This wasn't real. Ren had drugged him or he was still sleeping and this was all one massive hallucination. It was impossible, unfathomable. This kind of thing didn't even happen in Onoda's anime, let alone real life. He was either having a break down, or by some cruel twist of fate the world really really hated it.

Toudou. Toudou Jinpachi. His rival, friend, best friend, minder, reminder, pain in the ass, everything he'd been missing since leaving for Japan. That Toudou was standing impossibly close and impossibly real behind the set of cameras straight in front of him.

"You knew." Unable to stop himself, Makishima stared at his brother with wide eyes. "You knew and didn't say anything?" There had been a smug grin plastered across Ren's face which quickly dissipated as his watched his younger sibling's body language shift from tired boredom to absolute and total fear.

"Yes," he said slowly, eyes shifting between the model in question and Makishima. "What the hell's the matter? I thought you'd be happy. It's the guy in all your photos, with the bikes and everything."

"Shush." Keeping his eyes low and trying to not look to closely, Makishima resisted the urge to punch Ren in the arm or throw him down a set of stairs. "He hates me." Raising an eyebrow with a small wave of his hand, the older boy brushed off his concerns.

"Those were just races, I know you guys take that stuff seriously, but this is the real world and things like that-"

"I broke him." Cutting in as Ren looked fit to prattle on, Makishima took a set of deep breaths before continuing. "I broke his heart."

Blinking slowly, Ren quickly arranged his face from shock to neutral nothingness in a matter of seconds.

"You and him were..." Trailing off as he took a step forward and looked the model up and down, Ren turned back to his brother with a smirk on his face. "Nice."

"No, not nice. Bad." A week, he had a week of dealing with spoilt models, which had now turned into a week of dealing with a bitter, probably aggressive Jinpachi.

"Deal with it." His brother's tone bore no argument as the cameras stopped and the photographer called out final directions. "This is the real world, and in the real world sometime you have to face your mistakes. Like angry exes." Straightening his glasses and putting on his best smile, Ren couldn't help but laugh. "How the hell didn't I know you were gay until like yesterday?" Trying to regulate his breathing with little to no success, Makishima shrugged nervously.

"I'm not and it wasn't like that."

"Sure it wasn't." Approaching the trio through the small crowd surrounding them, Ren threw his sibling a small wink. "But I wouldn't blame you if it was."

Groaning internally as one of the female models turned her attentions to them, his heart sank immediately as startling purple eyes bore into his. But it was as if they saw right through him, those eyes that were different from what he knew so well. No more was the bright and competitive sparkle deep within their shockingly transparent depths. This was not the Toudou Jinpachi he knew. The one he'd pined after for so many months. This man was a complete stranger, an imposter with dull, dead eyes whose hair shone with artificial highlights and lacked a trademark head band.

"This is Makishima, my little brother and he'll be your translator for all intents and purposes today and then we'll be switching back tomorrow." Flowing seamlessly into a string of Japanese, Makishima felt a pang of nostalgia coupled with his overwhelming feelings of drowning in emotions. Bowing slightly to the trio, he stood back and waited for some instruction from his brother, but received only a pat on the back as he walked off and down the hall towards the elevators up to the office.

It was like a nightmare, his worst dreams coming to fruition. Dealing with people was a struggle, so this was just a death sentence. Jumping as a manger from textile came across and posed a question in English, his brain registered everything but it took him a few seconds to switch languages before he could relay the question to the three models standing before him.

"Are you ready for your second fitting?" Receiving a positive nod and/or reaction from two of the three, Makishima relayed the message to the Englishman. Standing back, his eyes pointed to the ground, his internal monologue did little to calm his pounding heart. Should he say something? It was blatantly oblivious that Toudou wanted nothing to do with him. Following the directions of the on-stage director, he led the way to the backstage dressing rooms, the uncomfortable feeling of being watched making his stomach churn. It was going to be a long day.

"Is there a problem?" Standing awkwardly to the side, Makishima looked between the make up artist and his once friend and rival. Refusing to meet his eyes, Toudou was silent as the artist spat out an angry accusation.

"He's being a diva, he refuses to wear this set for some reason. Tell him to stop being a little bitch." Wincing as he looked over the set of clothes in question, Makishima knew the exact reason the dark haired beauty was kicking up such a fuss.

"Please just wear the outfit." Using his most coaxing tone with zero luck, Makishima almost reached out to shake some sense into the other man. "Seriously, just do it." The slightest flicker of his purple eyes was all he got for his troubles and with the glaring make up artist tapping her foot impatiently, he tried a different approach. "It can be worn with that chain." Touching the mirror golden linked necklace at his neck Makishima tried a small smile. "I designed it with that necklace in mind."

There wasn't much of a reaction, barely any at all and yet with the smallest nod of his head, the smaller man held out his hand to the frustrated woman and took the garments in question. Taking a heavy breath, his heart settling into a steady pace, Makishima took the small victory with a mild feeling of pleasure. Maybe there was some ground that could be regained with his friend, maybe he didn't hate him as much he was making out. A zing of happiness brightened his entire outlook as Toudou emerged, his designs clinging perfectly to his slim but toned figure.

"It looks good," he tried quietly, expecting a punch in the face but receiving an icy glare in its stead. Taking a seat in an empty chair, Makishima watched the make up artist put the finishing touches on the sleeping beauty's hair and eyes.

"Can you tell him to take off that tacky necklace?" Blinking in surprise, Makishima's eyes suddenly darkened as he shook his head.

"It's meant to be worn with a heavy chain or light scarf. Leave it." Pulling a face, she rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath as she worked around the length of the chain sitting delicately over Toudou's collarbone.

Catching his friend's eyes for the smallest second, Makishima threw him a warm smile, hand jumping subconsciously to his own neck and the feeling weight of the gold there. Toudou had seen it, he knew he had and although there had been no immediate response, the green haired man was satisfied regardless. It was a start.

The day dragged on, going from bad to worse to really bad in a matter of hours. If his anxiety wasn't bad enough, Toudou's constant presence was making him incredible nervous and fidgety. The two female models were expectationally polite and pleasant throughout the entire evening; it was the dark haired boy who'd raced him up and down the hills of his home town that caused him the most trouble.

It was an uncomfortable situation all round, made worse by his bad attitude and short attention span. Maikishima grit his teeth as Toudou knocked back a third and fourth stage director and disobeyed the directions replayed to him. Close to pulling out his hair, Makishima cleared his throat, resisting the urge to tap Jinpachi on the shoulder and then slap some sense into him.

This was nothing like the Toudou he remembered. Toudou had always been vain and a little bit arrogant. But his focus within his studies and cycling was legendary, coupled with his dedication to his diet and beauty he'd been a strong student and a productive rider. Now he just seemed listless, aimless. It was like he was having trouble concentrating, focusing on anything for longer then a few minutes. Maybe he was just off his game, Makishima sure knew he himself was, so he couldn't blame the other man for missing some instructions.

His mind couldn't stop questioning the reality of the situation. It all seemed like a dream, and there was so much that wasn't matching up. When did Toudou take up modelling? It wasn't surprising, especially concerning his famed status among the local fangirls and the cycling club. But this was London, across the other side of the world and he was readying to be face of the winter 'Asian Summer' collection. If he could focus on the instructions long enough for the show to even premiere.

"Tell him to turn left, left. He's just standing there like a dumb shit."

"Toudou." At least he was somewhat acknowledging him now. "The director says you have turn to the left at the corner before you walk back. Don't just stand there." There was a flash of something dangerous in the purple depths of his eyes, and for a moment Makishima was lost in their gaze. It transported him back to another time, away from the chill of London and back onto the winding hills and mountains of their home.

"How am I supposed to get the most camera time if they push me to the back so quickly?" Unsure how to reply, the tall boy quickly relayed the question, receiving the response he'd expected.

"Tell him to move his ass or he's off the program. And don't be nice about it, lay it down thick."

Nodding awkwardly, Makishima turned to his ex-friend with a shaky breath.

"He says you have to turn and move when he says or you're off the project." Frowning deeply, Toudou's face flashed a violent red before he stared down the director then turned delicately on the practice stage before striding back, head held high with an arrogant tip to it.

"It's unfortunate that everyone is so rude just because we don't understand English." Slack jawed as perfect form English that slipped from Toudou's immaculately painted lips, Makishima nearly fell over. Jinpachi could speak English? Since when? He'd literally had no interest in learning any foreign language, even though his parents had tried to pressure him into it for the good of the inn.

"When did you learn-" The glare that came his way could have killed instead it worked instead to silence him but only for a moment. "When did you learn English?" He tried again, refusing to step down. His voice was twice as confident as he felt and as he watched the tension set of Toudou's shoulders, his nerve stayed.

"Just shut up, you shut your mouth." It was about what he'd expected, and yet it irked his rage something fierce.

"Come with me." Slipping back into English as he apologised to the director and rattled off an excuse about educating political correctness, he physically pulled the dark haired model away.

Tugging his arm none-too-gently, Makishima pulled the scowling Toudou away from the small crowd. Picking a dressing room at random he dragged the other man inside and slammed the door with unnecessary force.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He was so angry, angry and uncomfortable enough that he'd just cussed at the man in English. But it seemed as if language wasn't needed to convey his feelings because Toudou's face turned a starling red before he exploded.

"What do you want from me? I hate you. Do you hear me? I hate you. You are nobody to me now. I don't know you. I don't want to know you. I don't ever want to see you again." Blinking at the outburst, Makishima couldn't help but reach out and grab his ex-friend's shoulders.

"Why? Because I didn't tell you? Because I left? Why?"

"Because fuck you, that's why." Pulling out of his grasp and straightening his shirt, Toudou looked about ready to expire. "I thought I meant something to you, enough that you'd talk to me about it." Rubbing his eyes angrily, the dark haired beauty grit his teeth before turning on his heel and all but running to the door. "You just keep your distance, we have a job to do okay? Don't go messing it up because suddenly you want to act human." Fixing his shirt a final time before slipping out the door, Makishima felt alone, his heart sore and aching with a crippling sense of abandonment working its way through his system.

This was what he'd done to Toudou. Left him alone without saying a word. Falling back to the floor, his head in his hands, the climber couldn't help but shed a tear as the weight of his actions came crashing down atop him. This was his punishment now. The temptation of having his friend, his best friend so close and yet so far with no option to fix his mistakes. There could be no greater punishment, and of course he'd have to deal with this alone.


	3. Chapter 3

He heard the slam of the apartment door but couldn't bring himself to care. Pushing his face deeper into his pillow, his hair falling down onto his face, Makishima heard the soft knock on the door but didn't answer.

"Hey." Peering around the door, Ren slipped into the room and paced quietly across the floor. Coming to sit on the end of his brother's bed, the older sibling let out a heavy sigh. "Tough day, huh?" Craning his neck to the side and blowing stands of hair from his face, Makishima tried to put on a brave expression.

"Yeah, a bit."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I kind of thought it would help." Nodding, the green haired man waved him off nonchalantly, hoping to ease his brother's guilt.

"No, it's fine. You weren't to know." Struggling to sit up, he took a deep breath, running his hands over his eyes and pushing back his hair. "It just doesn't feel real, you know?"

He was opening up too much. They were in the middle of a busy project, he couldn't be bringing all this baggage up and burdening his brother with it. It wasn't the adult or the kind thing to do. Jumping at the feeling of a hand at his back, he felt his eyes sting at the burn of tears threatening to fall.

"Sorry, I don't mean to bring all this up-"

"Shush," the gentle patting on his back was strangely comforting, especially after the chill of Toudou's words. "I don't know what happened between you two and I don't need to know, but I'm here for you okay? I haven't always been, I don't really know how to be a good big brother, but I know how to be a good friend. So chin up, okay? It's only for the next couple of days. And I can take some of the extra shifts." Shaking his head with a small smile, Makishima squared his shoulders and sat up a little straighter.

"I'll be fine, but thank you. I can do this. I just wish I knew what's going through his head." Laughing humourlessly, Ren flopped back against the bed, hands behind his head.

"Who knows? People are fickle." They were indeed, which is why he so seldom dealt with them. But seeing Toudou there and in the flesh today had given him such a shock he wasn't thinking straight, he couldn't think about anything but Toudou.

"There's the wrap party tonight at Paws in the city. Do you want to come?" Stretching and listening to his back crack satisfyingly, Makishima hummed.

"Probably not." Sitting up with a grunt, Ren straightened his glasses before standing.

"That's cool, but your model is going to be there. Drinks flowing, music blaring, it might be the perfect opportunity to make up." Pulling a face, Makishima took a deep breath before thinking over the proposal.

"I don't think he's ready to see me yet, if ever." Blowing a raspberry at his brother and ruffling his hair roughly, Ren stared Makishima down with a stern gaze.

"You'll never know unless you try. He'll be gone after the weekend. Gone and back to Japan and who knows when you'll going home. You may never get the opportunity to make up with him again."

Being left alone in his room, head filled with uncertainty and heart heavy with fear and hurt, Makishima looked towards his wardrobe, a glimmer of hope sparking as he stood up and sorted through his clothes rack. His brother was idiot, as all siblings were, but his words held wisdom and as he changed into his finery, the gold chain around his neck shone in the dim light of his room. He could try, try like he had over the last couple of months. Try to fix his mistakes and work hard to rebuild the friendship he'd so carelessly cast aside.

Tonight he would climb like he never had before and the reward at the peak was Jinpachi Toudou.

Paws was loud, crowded and pretty much everything Makishima hated. Decked out for the speciality event of their show wrap party, the theme was summer. Balloons within balloons, bright and pastel. The colours and spark of the coming season was highlighted in a PR event for all those involved in the project. Producers, directors, sponsors, services, the designers and the models themselves were scattered throughout the club. Lining the bar and sitting above the dance floor on the upstairs balcony, people filtered out in small groups, chatting and networking.

Walking shoulder to shoulder with his brother, the green haired man almost back pedalled at the foot of the stairs.

"No you don't." As if reading his mind, Ren put a hand on his shoulder and directed him up the stairs towards the pounding music and the bar. "Remember why you're here, to win back the boy."

"Please don't say it like that." Brushing off his brother's hand and pulling his freshly pressed shirt straight, Makishima scanned the room in hope of finding Toudou quickly.

"Take your time, don't rush. Do you want a drink? Liquid confidence." Wanting to disagreeing but agreeing anyway, a small glass of champagne was pushed into his hand as Ren started up a conversation with a man behind them. Merging into the group and following his brother's lead, Makishima sipped the bubbly alcohol as he narrowed his eyes at a group of models across the room. If Toudou was there, he was blending in impossibly well.

Informing his brother of his departure, Makishima crossed the room, trying to hard to look somewhat confident while secretly panicking inside. Sliding inside the group, he was disheartened not to find Toudou's unique eyes and inky black hair. Nodding to some of the women from textiles he knew, he leant on the railing of the balcony, staring down into the depths below. The pit of people and limbs that swayed and moved with the music was almost hypnotic. Finishing off his drink with a final long swig, a flash of red caught his eye among the mass below.

Leaning down over the railing, his lanky form stretched over the metal bar, he managed a grin. That tell-tale headband. Bright red against the intense black backdrop of hair he knew to be silky and smooth. He'd teased Toudou relentlessly about it for years, but it was a symbol, his image and beauty highlighted and perfected by a thinly shaped piece of plastic. Casually crossing his arms over his chest, he followed the progress of that headband as it and its owner crossed the floor to settle on a stool at the bar. He was smiling, feeling at ease for the first time that day.

In a sudden moment of clarity the world slowed down, the music became mute and the light in the room flared bright. Toudou was looking at him. Staring him down from his perch at the bar. Grinning, Makishima raised his now-empty glass to his rival. A toast to their reunion. The glare he received was well worth it, the fire and spark in his friend's eyes was so comforting and familiar, not like the dead and empty orbs they'd been at the studio earlier in the day. When the sleeping beauty began his climb, the world around him slept. And for the longest moment the room slept and he and Toudou were the only ones awake. Like the games of tag they played up and down the mountains surrounding their home, this was a race and a game.

Letting the glass hang limply from his hand as his lungs ached for breath, Makishima held Toudou's gaze for as long as possible, sending his message loud and clear.

Tag. Come and get me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes: I am very aware that this is NOT how one would deal with drug and alcohol abuse. Always call the ambulance. Always. EMTs are only there to help, not judge. Never hesitate, just call them.**

* * *

><p>He was still waiting, waiting and waiting. He'd lost sight of Toudou the moment he'd gone back to the bar and ordered another drink, but he'd been ready to wait, to settle in and wait until his old friend had come to him. But Toudou hadn't, at all. Makishima couldn't even find him now, not that he was searching too hard, or at least trying to look like he wasn't searching too hard.<p>

Standing at the corner of the dance floor he'd already brushed off two eager women and one gentleman looking to dance. Eyes peeled for that bright red headband, he was sticking to his guns and refused to actively seek out the other man himself. He'd just walk past, or stare from across the room, letting his expression do the luring. But luck was not shining on him this evening, especially not as Ren emerged from the gloom behind him.

"You ready to go? Did you find your friend?" Glancing worriedly at his watch, Makishima was shocked by the time that had passed.

"Ah no, didn't see him. Yeah I suppose we can go." Standing up on his tippy toes, his brother looked around the dance floor, trying to locate the wayward model.

"That's a shame. I swore I saw him before in the back room. Do you want to check there before we go?"

Sighing, Makishima shook his head.

"No no, it's fine. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."

"Pfft." Walking back towards the entrance, Ren sluggishly pushed his glasses up his nose. "Fate has nothing to do with it. Try again tomorrow." That was very much his brother's motto for life. There was always more to be done, nothing could be left up to fate. Makishima wasn't sure if he believed in fate or the power of will, what he did know was that he'd lost his opportunity to make up with Toudou tonight. Pacing down the stairs, the boom and clatter of the music dulled as they approached the door. Head down, his mood sour and trampled at the lack of success and his waste of the night, Makishima was not at all pleased when Ren elbowed him in the stomach.

"There, over there! Your boy." Swivelling around quick enough that his neck twinged, Makishima's heart jumped at the sight of red plastic, ducking behind a door to the side. "Smoking room," Ren whispered to him, pushing him towards the room. "Here, take a twenty, get a cab home. Go get your boy."

"Can you please not say that." Taking the cash pressed into his hand, Makishima licked his lips nervously before thanking his brother for the money and the heads up.

"That's fine, just go do what you have to do okay? Give me a call if you need back up or anything." Touching his pocket to check for his phone, Makishima nodded, seeing his brother off before following Toudou with a confidence he didn't feel.

He could barely see a foot in front of him, the cigarette smoke so thick that he couldn't see the faces of those around him. Walking forward slowly, carefully, the bright red headband worked like a beacon. Slowing his approach as fear and anxiety struck, Makishima struggled to take a decent, deep breath as the smoke and ash in the air choked the oxygen from the room. Standing awkwardly to the side, he was now so close, so close that he could reach and tap Toudou on the shoulder, slap him on the back of the head, rip off that stupid headband and run away with it. Anything just to break the ice and bring the dark haired climber back to him and back to reality. Readying his hand with a quiet clearing of his throat, Makishima was suddenly floored as his rival spoke.

"Just one more, a night cap please." His English sounded torn, like he was forgetting half of it. Maybe he was more drunk then Makishima had realised; then again, the man could have been perpetually drunk and he wouldn't have known. This Toudou was far different than the one he used to know, and that broke his heart. Unable to catch the hurried reply from the man in his company, Makishima jumped back into the whiffs of smoke and shadows as the model and his two companions moved to a dark corner of the room. Pushing his hair back from his face and straining his eyes to watch the trio, the noise that escaped Makishima's lips wasn't human.

He wasn't a complete introvert, he knew the way the world worked. He'd travelled and lived enough to know that not everything was black and white. That Santa wasn't real and that his mother had been dying her hair for years.

And that sometimes models took drugs. Lots of drugs. He was sure some of the models on their permanent roster were high eighty percent of the time.

But seeing Toudou, his Toudou, he who preached on the worth of food, good skin and daily exercise, popping three pills down in a matter of seconds almost killed him. Dry swallowing the mouthful with a small smile, the ex-climber slumped against the wall with a tired yawn. The man to his left leaning down to whisper in his ear which brought on a fit of giggles from the dark haired boy. Like a nightmare, a nightmare in all too real life, Makishima couldn't move. His feet were glued to the floor, his limbs felt heavy as if weighed down by iron. Flashbacks to some of his first races came flooding back to him, his legs losing feeling as everything around him broke down in a tumble of sicken heat and sweat.

And things were much the same now, especially as his friend was beckoned off the wall and dragged back towards the bathroom, his companion's hand wrapped eagerly around his slender waist. Blinking, the smoke and ash wrecking havoc with his senses, Makishima was ready to admit defeat. This was not his friend. There was nothing in that man that was the boy he'd once called a friend. There was nothing left and there was nothing to keep him around now. The rest of the week would be a breeze with this revelation, he could just put his head down and get on with it.

Stumbling into action as he was bumped from behind by passing party goers, the tall man turned on his heel and started off towards the exit and smoke-free air. But he had to look back, over his shoulder, like he had years before to watch his rival climber chasing after him. But there was no chasing now, instead all he caught was the glimpse of a limp Toudou wedged between two men, pushing open the bathroom door as they pushed up his shirt.

Pausing mid step, he rounded one-eighty degrees and walked back towards the bathroom. It was none of his business, he'd just decided that. But it just felt wrong, something wasn't sitting right in his gut and if he didn't just check he'd lay awake all night thinking about it. Passing through the dark and smoke, he pushed open the door and winced at the bright lights overhead.

The purpose of black lights in clubs had been explained to him by Ren early on during his stay in the UK, and walking into the uncomfortably lit room his eyes had trouble adjusting to the light, let alone where to find Toudou. If he was lucky the boy would be bent over the porcelain goddess, throwing up the two hundred dollars worth of narcotics he'd downed before. But as luck would not have it the sleeping beauty was not unwell, in fact he wasn't anything. Propped up against the sinks, his eyes looked dead in the half light, with his cheek pressed up against the faux marble on the sinks. One of his companions was nowhere to be seen, the single locked cubicle lining the wall giving a pretty good indication of his whereabouts.

The other man's location was no such mystery, his hands palming the back of Toudou's lean thighs. Makishima felt sick at the sight.

"Bathroom's taken, piss or fuck off." Watching as those wandering hands ran up and tugged on the belt buckled at Jinpachi's waist, the Shotoku climber was seeing red.

"Stop." It was all he could manage; cringing at the weak sound of his own voice, he stepped forward, using his height to his advantage as he strode nearer. "Leave him alone."

"Do I know you?" Standing up and leaving Toudou to slide down the sink bench to the floor, the other man sized him up with a nasty stare. "I asked do I know you, mate." Taking a deep breath to steady his nerves, anger and two beers fuelling him, Makishima squared his shoulders and leered aggressively.

"No, and I don't think you want to."

He'd scared teenagers before, those young cycling club boys who were like children being told ghost stories. This was an entirely different story, in a foreign country, with another grown man. He was one wrong move away from losing his teeth and money all in one go. But Toudou needed him. Even if he did somehow know this man, this man who'd drugged him and tried to undress him in a very public bathroom, surely in hindsight he would be forgiven.

"I think you're bonkers, mate." Crossing his arms as the second man came out from the cubicle, Makishima weighed up his options. He knew next to nothing about fighting beyond that running away was always the best way to win, but there was no time for that now. With an unconscious Toudou sliding further under the sinks, he needed to stand his ground. Most Westerners thought all Asians knew karate, maybe he could trick them into thinking he knew something about martial arts.

The sound of the door swinging open behind them broke the tense atmosphere, glancing behind his shoulder for a spilt second, the dark suit and tie of the club's security guard made his heart jump.

"No loitering, off with you. Now." Holding open the door, the dark suited man frowned at the slumped and muttering model, collapsed and crumpled on the dirty floor. "What's wrong with him?"

"Dunno, he's not with us." Pushing past the security guard, the duo made good with their escape while Makishima thought over what to do with his old friend.

"Does he need an ambulance?" Springing into action, Makishima shook his head as he pulled the dead weight of the other man up into his arms.

"No no, he's just a little drunk. He just needs to go home." Or so he hoped. He didn't even know what the dark haired man had taken, and neither did he by the situation he'd put himself in. But calling the ambulance straight away would cause an incident his brother and the office would slaughter them both for it. Toudou's modelling career would be over even before it had really begun and Makishima would suffer as well from just being in his presence. If there was something really wrong they could always go to the twenty four hour clinic around the corner from his apartment.

Breaking out of the foul smelling bathroom, only to be greeted by the smoke filled room once again, Makishima could not move quick enough towards the exit. He struggled down the stairs, one hand looped around his friend's waist, the other gripping hard on the rail. The street outside was a welcome moment of peace. The noise from inside the club was dull, the cold wind blowing up the cobblestones washing his lungs clean of the smoke and filth. It also stirred the unconscious model in his grasp, making him moan and squirm against his side.

Feeling in his pocket one handed for the twenty Ren had left him, Makishima waved down a cab, shooting off the address while piling Toudou into the back. He buckled his own seatbelt, strapped in the sleeping man and checked his breathing. He seemed as if he was only sleeping, but it would be impossible to tell. It was going to be a long night; checking his phone as he gnawed at his bottom lip, he thought about changing their course now and just heading straight to the hospital. The cocktail of drugs and drinks within his system could be pushed too far and heaven forbid he should be unable to get help in time. Texting Ren quickly, he pulled Toudou closer, flopping him over his lap for easier breathing observation. The buzz from his phone confirmed his brother was updated with the situation but offered little help.

**Bring him back here, put him in the shower, wake him up, pump him with gatorade and watch that bitch. Just make sure he's not OD-ing.**

Flinching at the almost cold, practical routine of his brother's reply, Makishima typed one back as he pulled the headband from Jinpachi's locks, smoothing the hair back from his face with a careful hand.

**You've done this b4?**

**Twice. Just wake me up when you get back.**

Shaking his head, Makishima pocketed his phone and leant his head against the window, watching the lights of the city and streets fly past at a blur. Snaking his hand down the other man's slim chest, he felt the gentle rise and fall with steady fingers. Closing his eyes as the exhaustion and fatigue of the night finally caught up with him, the tall man took a deep breath and rubbed his eyes with a spare hand. Feeling the heat of skin against his palm, the hard feeling of sudden metal against his fingers was a surprise. That damned necklace.

Smiling despite himself Makishima reached to his own neck, the mirror image thick, heavy chain hanging like a weight around his own neck. Running his fingers along the fake gold, the links in the chain clinked under his nails as he tugged slightly. Toudou still had it, and he wore it, even now. Even now when he was mad at him and wanted him dead and refused to even acknowledge him. That had to mean something, it had to. It meant something to him, he'd seldom taken it off since he'd gotten it, it had meaning and regardless of what had occurred and what happened between them, it would still mean something to Makishima always.

Touching the soft skin of his friend's cheek, Makishima cleaned the lingering dampness from the bathroom sink off his face. Remembering back to that particular shopping trip, his hand again jumped to his neck, fingering the gold around Toudou's neck as he lost himself in the memory and pushed aside the bitter taste of reality.


	5. Chapter 5

"_You do know I can buy my own clothes right?" _

_ "Not successfully." Tisking lightly as he sorted through a rack of brightly coloured shirts, the sleeping beauty tossed his green haired friend a set of clothes."Humour me and try these on." Rolling his eyes and limply catching the offering tossed to him, Makishima looked unimpressed. _

_ "I don't really think this is necessary, my brother's company send me all the new seasons samples. I haven't bought clothes for years." _

_ "And it shows." Flicking his hair from his eyes with an expert twirl, Hakone's climbing ace sighed dramatically. "Go try that on and buy it already. I'm hungry and my feet hurt." Shaking his head with a tired smile, Makishima strode off towards the back of the store, personally chosen outfit flipped carelessly over his shoulder._

_ "Where'd all your endurance training go? Now you're sleepy not only in name." _

_ "Sleeping" Fiddling with his phone as he watched his friend go, Toudou raised an eyebrow as he slyly watched the dip and curve of Makishima's ass in the skin-tight denim of his jeans. "Never sleepy." _

_Shopping with company was something the Souhoku climber had only recently agreed to. He was beginning to learn that it was better in many ways to just give his rival some concessions and that it went a fair way in keeping him mostly out of his hair. Toudou he'd learnt quite early on loved to control things, everything and that included his Maki-chan. It was annoying to say the least and the two hour gap between them was on some days a god sent, other times it was a unwelcome hindrance. On the few scattered weekends the green haired senior had spent in the mountain inn, his Hakone opposite had spent the entire time doting on him endlessly. It was nice for a change not having to worry about the state of his hair, his laundry or his meals and having Toudou playing the ever present host was a simple delight. However when it digressed into their every day relationship it became a real pain. _

_Dressing him up like a doll was annoying and rude, but the gracious and admiring smile that came from the smaller man was enough motivation to see the chore through. _

_ "The shirt was nice, normal. You should have got it." Sipping his ice tea with a pout Jinpachi leant his chin on his hand, watching his friend with large eyes. Shrugging casually, Makishima looked around the busy food court with tired eyes. _

_ "I didn't like it." _

_ "You never like anything I pick out for you." Nibbling at the end of his straw frustrated, the Hakone climber reluctantly admitted defeat. "It's not like I'm asking you for a kidney, I just thought you'd appreciate some fashion guidance from someone as beautiful as me." Rolling his eyes as he added a second sugar to his coffee, Makishima cocked his head to the side. _

_ "Don't be like that." Subconsciously reaching for the chain around his neck, the tall man smiled slightly, refusing to give in to the urge to grin and frighten his rival. "I have this don't I?" _

_Turning up his nose at the peace offering, the dark haired ace stirred his tea with sudden interest. _

_ "That was gift, if you didn't wear it'd just be rude." Leaning across the table with purpose, Makishima tapped his knuckles against Toudou's hand that was wrapped snugly around his take away tea cup. _

_ "But I really like it. If I didn't I wouldn't wear it, gift or otherwise." Staring down at the fingers touching his hand with mild disdain, Toudou smiled. _

_ "I'm glad." _

And it had stayed there from that day on. He'd taken it off for races and showers of course and trial of airport security. But it had always found its way back around his neck and close to his heart. Just like Toudou. Coming out his reminiscing, the familiar landscape of his neighbourhood came into view.

"What number?" The driver asked gruffly as they turned down the one way street leading to his apartment.

"Six" he croaked out, hating the sound of his own voice. The smoke and ash from the smoking room finally getting to him. Pulling in at the closest possible curb, Makishima paid and pulled Toudou from the car with a grunt. His body was letting him down, he was no where near as fit as he used to be, especially as he no longer kept to the strict routine and diet he had during high school. And it certainly showed.


	6. Chapter 6

Ren was waiting for him in the foyer, blanket wrapped around his shoulders, bunny slippers on his feet impatiently tapping feet.

"Well done" he said, swinging Toudou's limp arm over his shoulder and shaking his head. "I am so sick of fucking models and pretty boys getting all doped up and passing out during shows. Be thankful he's not ODing."  
>"He's not?" Pressing the button for the elevator and waiting with an heavy sigh, Ren shook his head.<br>"You'd know if he was." Falling into silence as they took the awkward elevator ride up to their floor, Makishima struggled under Toudou's weight, leaning against the wall to take much of the load from his shoulders. "Get him in the shower, I'm going to 7/11, you want anything?" A good sleep and a time machine came to mind, but beyond that for what he probably had in store tonight he was going to need some caffeine.  
>"Coffee, like three and maybe some of those no doze shots." Nodding his brother stayed in the elevator, sending Makishima and his baggage inside.<p>

Barely managing to slip his keys into the lock, Makishima dropped to his knees as soon as they entered the apartment. His limbs had all but given up. He felt even more helpless then in a race, when his legs seized up and he could ride no more. A shower Ren had said, glancing down the hall to the discreet bathroom door, he knew he could do it.

He had to, for Toudou. The dark haired beauty had gone down like a sack of potatoes and yet had still not woken. Trusting his brother's word, Makishima checked the time before standing up and stretching, feeling his legs almost give way as he did.  
>"I wish you'd be more helpful." Talking to the passed out climber probably wasn't going to bring him out of his slumber, but it broke the silence in the apartment and made him feel just that little bit better. "Your mother would kill you if she could see you now." Rather then carrying him Makishima opted instead to link his arms under Toudou's chest and pull him down the hall on the slippery rug he'd been dropped on. It would be less stress on him and it was a smaller distance to fall least he should drop him. Succeeding on getting to the bathroom, the bright light and fan blaring down over head, Makishima snapped the tap on and awaited the water to heat up. Turning to look at the pale boy in the crumpled clothes, his mouth ran dry at the realisation he was going to have to undress the unconscious boy.<p>

Groaning out loud out of sheer frustration, the tall man shed his own shirt before unzipping his pants and casting them aside. Kneeling to unbutton Toudou shirt, his hands touched the necklace again, briefly bringing a smile to his face before clipping it open and putting it atop the sink. Doing the same with his own, the lanky man focused on peeling off the layers of his ex rival clothes. Pulling his limp arm free from its sleeve, Makishima paused as he noted the bruises running up and down the other boy's limb. Tears wet his cheeks as he refused to acknowledge them as the injection sites he knew them to be. Some tumbling and cussing later a semi naked Toudou laid flat out on his bathroom floor. He was still out, not doing anything but twitching and muttering gibberish every now and again.

"Please wake up," Makishima whispered, pulling the boy into the shower and watching the warm water soak through his designer underwear in seconds. Passing through the spray and sitting down behind the slumped boy, Makishima sat Toudou between his legs with his own back against the cold shower wall. Checking his breathing with a satisfied grunt, he tried in vain to enjoy the heat of the water. Washing away the aches in his limbs and stink of cigarettes.  
>"Maki-chan?" His eye flying open as the boy in his arms spoke, Makishima held Jinpachi's head up as his started to hiccup.<br>"It's okay, Jinpachi it's okay you're safe now." Leaning around the model's slim shoulders, his heart jumped as those unique purple eyes fluttered open, panic and terror clear within their crystal depths.  
>"-ick. Sick." Toudou spat out. Falling forward but catching himself before Makishima had time to. He bent over on all fours and spat into the drain, his watering mouth accompanied by the churning nausea in his stomach as he threw up.<p>

Struggling to stand up as Toudou emptied his stomach into the drain, Makishima pulled the shower wand down from its holder and washed the mess down the drain with little fuss. Offering the wand to his ex friend with a shaky hand, that snatch and grab was all but forgiving. Rinsing his mouth out, Toudou ignored his rival as the green haired man stepped out of the shower. Wrapping his hair up in a towel and he knotted another about his waist before offering one to the other man. Dropping the wand on the floor of the shower, Toudou managed to turn the tap off before climbing the wall for a hand held to heave himself up on.

"Need a hand?" Offering a hand to the slippery, struggling man, Makishima tried to ignore the trickle of water running down his back, his hair still damp and heavy with water. Staring at the hand with hazy, watery eyes, the dark haired man took it with a couple of seconds hesitation, stumbling up on unsteady knees as a warm, fluffy towel was wrapped around his shoulders.  
>"I hate you." The venom in his voice lacked some of the volume and impact it had at the studio, especially when he looked like a drowned kitten. Almost smiling at the novelty of it, Makishima pulled another towel off the racking, drying the model's hair as he gripped the sink for support. He looked so skinny and small, the designer pouted as he brushed the wet hair from his friend's neck and fluffed it dry. He'd always been of small build, but now he bordered on dangerously skinny.<br>"You need to go to bed."  
>"I don't need to do anything." The hands gripping the sink turned white as Toudou struggled to turn around. "Just leave me alone okay?"<p>

"You ungrateful little shit." Both jumping, the pair had failed to notice Ren's arrival or that he was even standing in the doorway. "My brother saves your sorry ass from becoming a very fucked little ass and you still treat him like shit. Learn some manners brat or I'll take you back to that club myself and see how well you fare then." Glancing confused between his brother and friend, Makishima wasn't sure what to say.  
>"It wouldn't be the first time." Tapping water from his ears in case he'd misheard, Makishima felt his insides freeze. What hadn't been the first time? The drugs? The attempted rape? The passing out in a public bathroom?<br>"Jinpachi..." Reaching out on instinct, his heart broke as the smaller boy flinched.  
>"Go to bed." Ren's voice broke no argument as he dropped a plastic bag just inside the door and took off down the hall. "I'm going to bed, so keep the noise down. And wake me if he start convulsing or anything. That's when he need the doctor." And with the slam of a door, the two cyclists were left alone again.<p>

"We should probably do what he says." Offering an arm for support, Makishima was sure he'd be rejected but was surprised as cold, slender fingers looped around his elbow. Toudou wasn't as heavy now that he was awake and supporting his own weight but he was still leaning heavily on his old friend, each step wobbling and a struggle. Turning into his room, Makishima switched on the light and dropped Toudou on the bed, dashing quickly to the laundry to retrieve a bucket least his stomach played up a second time. Grabbing the bag on his way through, he tossed a bottle of Powerade on the bed.  
>"Drink up, it's not pocari sweat, but it's good enough." Having crawled up the bed, Toudou had stolen a T-shirt from somewhere on the floor and a mass of blankets to promptly curl up into a tight ball at the top corner of the bed. "I can get you some water if it's too sweet."<p>

"No."' The mass moved and wet, purple eyes glared out at him. "Why do you care anyway. Go away."

"It's my room." Makishima said sourly, hopping up on the end of the bed, careful not to bump the outline of Toudou's legs through the sheets. "When did you start modelling?'" The red raw eyes and quiet sobbing was a pretty good indication of Toudou's current state of mind. And while he couldn't do much to fix it, he could at least take the other boy's mind off things. Sniffing, his nose running and throat dry, the dark haired boy cracked open a bottle of sports drink, taking a deep swig before replying.

"Just after you left. One of my fangirl's dad owned a small agency and he liked my flare. I pick up a few gigs from that and then some big Tokyo photographer called me up and offered me paid work. That was a couple of months ago now."

Makishima wasn't surprised, it was a familiar story he'd heard several times before with models from the studio. And with Toudou's vast number of fangirls, his discovery was no real mystery. "I hate it." Caught off guard as the other man shifted to sit up, Makishima watched Toudou push his hair back with a shaky hand before rising the bottle from his lips.

"You hate what?" Taking a deep breath as he finished his long drink, the smaller man blinked sleepily.

"Modelling." Shocked and unsure what to say, they sat in silence for a time until Makishima cleared his throat.

"Are you feeling any better?" Throwing a venomous look his way, Toudou scowled.

"Why do you care? Scared I'm going to die in your apartment and the resale value will drop?" Shaking his head and stretching his long legs out across the bed, the green haired man fixed him a stern stare. At least the best stare he could manage with his still wet, curly hair and sleep deprived state.

"I care, I care a lot."

"Liar." The crackling of the bottle in his hand made Makishima winced. "You never cared, if you'd cared you would have stayed."

"And what just given up on this opportunity? For what? A salary men job back in Chiba?" Looking away angrily, Toudou looked all but defeated.

"You could have told me," he said softly, the sob catching in his throat. "You could have told me so I had time to prepare. Time to mourn. You just upped and left and didn't give a fuck for anyone else but yourself." Twisting the top of the bottle and chugging down the remaining contents, the violet eyed climber refused to look at him.

"I didn't know what to say." And it was the truth. At the time he'd been so overwhelmed by the whole event, he had barely managed to hold it together himself, let alone if he was to tell his team mates and friends. Especially Toudou. "I didn't want to make you upset." Laughing humourlessly, the small man clutched his blanket fiercely, knuckles turning white. "I'm serious." Searching for the right words, Makishima tugged at the tangles in his hair as he thought about how to phase such a confession. "I thought if I left quietly, just slipped away into the night you wouldn't really mind as much. Like the longer you drag out goodbyes the harder they are. So I thought if it was just super quick and impersonal. It'd hurt less"

"For who?" Toudou spat, the tears in his eyes close to spilling over. "Easier for you you mean." Shrugging Makishima didn't know what to say.

"Well yeah, kind of. But only because I knew it would hurt so much." It was a hard admission to make, but the momentary reaction from Toudou was enough. His eyes grew large and his breathing hitched, but just for a second.

"It was easy for you." The dark haired man sobbed unhappily. "You were off and free to do whatever you wanted and I had to stay there, all by myself." Toudou blinked a couple of times, his eyes even too tired to cry any more. "I had to go on like nothing had changed. Doing the things I always did with you alone. I raced twice more before I became physically sick of it. You felt me for your perfect little life." Scoffing Makishima shook his head, mind racing as anger and frustration coursed through his system.

"Perfect life? What perfect life? I live on my brother's scraps, I have no friends, no social life. I only race when I can give enough notice to get the time off. I'm worked like a dog, never get enough sleep, gravure isn't a thing in the West. And," he paused taking a breath. "I missed you."

Rubbing his eyes to stop the stinging, Toudou shook his head angrily. His wet hair slapping him in the face with every shake.

"No, you don't care about me. If you cared about me you would have come back."

"And I would have," Makishima assured him. "I just have college over here, not my whole life." Frowning, the sleeping beauty looked anything but convinced.

"You would have met a nice, equally prevy British chick and you would have gotten married and lived happily ever after. And I would have been stuck back in Japan."

Hopping off the bed, his feet pounding the floorboards regardless of the ache, the long haired man had to do something to work out his frustrations.

"Have you met me?" He said finally. "I am the most ill mannered, socially disadvantaged weirdo in the entire region of Chiba. What the fuck makes you think I'd throw away the only best friend rival I've ever had?" Looking away, the wall suddenly becoming much more interesting, Toudou shrugged.

"Where would have been others." Tisking, his tongue touching the roof of his mouth with a noise of disagreement, Makishima collapsed back down on the bed, his legs unable to take any more. "There was never anybody else, only you" Tearing his eyes away from the wall, the dip in the bed making him slip closer, Toudou stared at his rival with tired eyes.

"Then why did you leave me?"

He hadn't meant to. It wasn't going to be for long. Because he was being selfish. The words died on his lips. He'd said all he could there was nothing left now. No words, only actions. They'd kissed only once before and by complete fluke, but this was different. Makishima knew what he was doing and so did Toudou. The man didn't even move as his friend leant over him, pinning him to the pillow with a slightly awkward, damp kiss.

"I don't know," he said, his hands cupping Toudou's cheeks. "I honestly don't know, but I will never leave you behind again." There was the slightest smile on the smaller man's lips, but it might have just been the sleep deprivation or remaining high from the drugs.

"Unless at the finish line." A startled laugh rattled from Makishima's lips, because his friend was either feeling much better or was on the verge of dying.

"The same goes for you." Falling flat to the bed beside him, the tall wanted nothing more then to get up, turn off the lights, come back to bed and stay like that forever. But his body simply wouldn't allow him. The same as finishing a long race, his body was simply done. Nothing could fix it now but sleep and hydration.

"I love you." Jumping as he was prompted awake by small fingers touching his face, Makishima smiled as Toudou shuffled closer.

"I love you too." Nodding sharply, his fringe falling into his eyes, Jinpachi yawned.

"See was that so hard to say? Really Maki-chan you make me travel all the way to Europe-"

"We're in the UK," the tall boy interrupted sleepily.

"Well I was in Europe before I came here you know." Smiling as he rubbed his nose against the pillow, Makishima was content to lay back and listen to his friend's ramblings. Just being able to hear his voice again with no hate or malice behind his words was nothing short of a gift and it was one he would certainly not take for granted. "Are you listening to me" Grinning at the indignant tone, Makishima shrugged a little, keeping his eyes closed.

"Not at all." The kiss was a surprise and it shouldn't have been. It was certainly a way to keep his attention, he just wondered how often the ploy would be used in the future.

"Well you should be." Opening his eyes a slither and seeing the dark haired beauty so close made it hard not to smile. "I can't believe you let me look like this during our first kiss. My hair is a mess Maki-chan!"

Unable to resist the temptation, Makishima's arm slipped out and threw it over the smaller man's waist a second later. The heat and warmth of having someone so close was so welcomed and the fact that it was Toudou made it all the more welcome.

"I'm so tired Maki-chan."

"I know, me too." Closing his eyes to the uncomfortable onslaught of the all too bright light, Makishima yawned. "You can turn the light off if it's bothering you." Shaking his head, his hair sticking to his face Toudou snuggled deeper into the warmth his rival offered.

"No, no I can sleep with it on." Clearing his throat, his nose level with Makishima's chin, Toudou pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. "Goodnight Maki-chan."

"Sleep Toudou."

"Has Maki-chan missed me calling him Maki-chan?"

"Good night Jinpachi."


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is super short and I'm so sorry, but it all leads up to the next chapter. So please keep with me, thank you! **

The morning wasn't as cold as usual. Sometimes by some small miracle, Makishima wouldn't kick the blankets off in his sleep and the bed would be nice, toasty and warm by the time he woke up.

Now was not one of those times. His blanket lacking state however was no due to his usual thrashing. Instead his lack of blankets was also the cause of his unusual warmth.

Toudou at some point during the night had stolen all but one blanket, making himself a thick cocoon against the chilly night air. Leaving the tall boy with all but one blanket, he wasn't at all left out in the cold. The cuddly mass of blankets and model had wrapped himself around the lanky man. Keeping him especially snugly and warm.

"So he survived the night?" Jumping as Ren opened the door and peered inside without a single knock, Makishima couldn't even bring up the indignation to get mad.

"For the moment yeah. That's good right?" Leaning in the door way and watching the dark haired boy stir into wakefulness, he shrugged.

"For now yeah. He'll have to go on a detox program if he wants to keep working with this modelling agency." Humming as he sat up and stretched, leaving Toudou splayed across his lap, Makishima tried in vain to ignore the sly look his brother was giving him. "So I guess you two made up?"

Letting a heavy hand fall to the soft inky black of his friend's hair, Makishima nodded. Pleased to feel his fingers slide seamlessly through. Even after such a rough night how did Toudou keep his hair so knot free? The mass tied at the back of his head was going to need so much attention the moment he got up. An entire bottle of conditioner may not even be able to cut it.

"Yeah, I guess we did. Thanks, for last night and everything." Shaking his head as he pushed off the doorway, the older man yawned.

"Don't thank me, it's going to get a lot harder from here on out. I just hope you're ready for it." Turning back into the hall and sighing, he glanced over his shoulder at his brother. "Is he worth it?" Hands still occupied in Toudou's hair, his fingers massaging his forehead softly, Makishima smiled.

"Yes, definitely."

It was strange to see his younger brother so passionate about something. He was always so cold, even to him and their parents. But now, so unguarded and smiling, he hadn't even scolded him for entering his room without a knock. Maybe the snarky little bitch was good for him.

"I was going to get a big breakfast from that takeaway place down the street. You want any?" Looking up from his petting, the tall boy nodded, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Yes please, just add the cost to my rent."

"Shall do." Closing the door was he turned and walked down the hall, Ren ran a hand through his hair. It would be a tough road ahead for his little brother and the brat, but if Yuusuke was happy to take him on there was little he could do but sit back and support him. Even if that meant playing breakfast delivery man. It was a start.

Feeling Toudou's breathing change as the boy slipped into peaceful wakefulness, Makishima felt his heart clench as he awaited the screaming match that was to come.

"Is that food?" Sniffing the air with a groan, the dark haired beauty rolled out from under the blanket nest to stretch and yawn. "My back is killing me, your bed is really too small Maki-chan." Blinking in surprise, his apology speech gone completely out the window, the tall man nodded.

"Yeah, it was just a cheap hand me down from one of nii-san's friends. Are you hungry?"

"Famished," the smaller boy said, stretching out along the bed like a cat. "I could eat an entire horse. That's the English expression right?" Laughing a little, Makishima nodded, hopping slowly out of bed, Toudou following.

"Sure is, nii-san went to pick up some breakfast, you want in?" Humming as he tested his balance and looked around for his pants, purple eye narrowed suspiciously.

"He won't try and poison me will he?" Shaking his head, Makishima tossed him a pair of sweats before pinning his hair up into a high bun, promising to deal with the mess later.

"Probably not." But he couldn't promise anything about Toudou's modelling career. His brother had a massive mouth, which had more then once gotten him in trouble as well as some poor, unsuspecting model or designer fired. "But it would probably pay to be nice to him."

Blowing a raspberry as he pulled up the pants and managed to stand, the sleeping beauty took a couple of shaky steps before nodding confidently.

"If you say so. I'm wearing half of his collection tomorrow, so if he wants those punters to buy, he's better off being nice to me." Stopping in his tracks, his mind spinning, Makishima couldn't believe only a single night had passed. It felt like a month, let alone barely twenty fours hours. "Are you okay Maki-chan? Maybe you should go back to bed, I'll bring you some tea."

"No no, it's fine." Pushing his messy fringe from his eyes, the tall man shook his head in disbelief. "Are you going to be okay?" Humming as he made his way to the door and tugged on the handle, Toudou simply shrugged.

"Maybe, I've felt worse coming down." Licking his lips nervously, Makishima took a deep breath, the next question a little more loaded.

"Okay, but are we okay?" Taking his time as he exited and made his way down the hall, Toudou shrugged.

"I think we'll be." He paused suddenly, reaching out to pull his rival in for a hug and support as he swayed slightly. "But you have a lot of making up to do." Chuckling softly as they followed the smell of food down into the kitchenette, Makishima nodded.

"That I do."


	8. Chapter 8

The flurry and rush leading up to a show was hell for designers. It was like sending your children off to school for the first time and desperately hoping people would like them and they'd get good grades; that was the feeling before the final showing. The runway had been set up magnificently, those tireless drones working in the PR department hadn't slept in the past week to Makishima's knowledge and seeing the stage set now, he wasn't surprised.

The theme of the season was pastels and whites, the room filled with balloons and champagne was served in milk bottles with decorative straws. The whole assembly looked amazing and with the MC's working the catwalk with seamless banter, Makishima was pleased to just sit back with his brother and their team, enjoying the fruits of their labour as the stage manager kicked them out from backstage and they took their place in the crowd. Only the department heads were allowed to stay back beyond the curtain, fussing and primping with the make up artists, putting the finishing and final touches on their human dolls before sending them out.

The moment his back hit the chair, Makishima was sure he was going to fall asleep. Even with the pounding music and unnatural coloured lighting, it was dark enough to give a sense of sleep, and by God did he need it.

"You're going to miss your Princess."

"He's not my princess," Makishima muttered back, taking the drink Ren offered and sitting up a little straighter in an attempt to lessen his fatigue. This was the last show Toudou was doing, promising that he had no longer any interest in fashion or modelling. The whole reason he'd undergone the endeavour was for the travel and the hope to see his rival again. It would be a hard couple of months if the last few days were anything to go off. But with Toudou quickly sponsored by his agency for a methadone program, Makishima was sure things were going to look up soon.

The chatter and bass of the music dropped as the show began and Makishima stared with wide eyes as his deigns, his very own designs were paraded around on stage, bright and in all their glory. It was perfect and of course, Toudou. He was perfect. At another time Makishima would have sworn the catwalk was made him for. Like with cycling, everything he did was with a beauty and natural grace that few veteran models could replicate. Maybe at a different time, when things were different, the young man could go back to modelling but for now, one of the conditions of his program contract was no paid modelling, at least until he was clean.

The show was flash of colour and cameras and by the end of the night, Makishima was so ready for bed he nearly convinced Ren to carry him home.

"Just have another coffee, you'll be fine." Groaning at the thought of more caffeine and what it would doubtless do to his stomach. Makishima left his brother and his company to seek out Toudou and head back to the apartment. Finding the sleeping beauty in the final stage of his make up removal, the tall man grinned.

"You killed it out there."

"I always do Maki-chan, it's why I'm so popular." With a final wipe down on his eyes, Toudou stood up fresh faced but deflated. He'd looked like a star out there with his hair and make up pitch perfect, but now he just looked tired, his hair pushed back with its usual headband and dark circles under his eyes from many a sleepless night.

"Are you feeling okay?" Walking out from back stage, the pair made a beeline for the exit, hoping to pick up a cab before the mad rush to get away began.

"Better than last night, but not great. I have another two hours before my next dose." The nice lady at the program office had been very strict with her instructions on when to have his dose, any time before or after and it would throw off his routine. "I think I just need something in my stomach." Not having eaten all day was an old modelling trick, but it always made the ex-climber uncontrollably hungry after his performances and now was no exception.

"Oh yeah? You want to go out?" Yawning and pulling his coat up closer to his neck, Toudou shrugged.

"Not particularly." Looking at his tall friend with a smile, he shuffled in closer, using the lanky man as wind break. "Having something delivered and sitting at home with you sounds better." Pleased he was so quick to agree, Makishima waved down and cab and the coupled piled inside, rattling off the address as they settled down comfortably for the ride. Searching his phone for delivery places in their area, Makishima grinned as he made his choice in seconds.

"I say we eat here." Passing the phone across to the dark haired boy, he was happy to see the positive reaction that came from him.

"Italian. Pasta. Yes." Sharing a laugh with the cab driver, Makishima pulled by the menu, letting Toudou sought through the list with eager eyes. "I haven't had it in ages. Too many carbs, especially if you're not six eight and all legs. I'm going to eat everything."

Calling through through their order even before arriving home, Makishima let them in via the elevator before crashing out of the sofa. It was within easy distance to the door when the delivery arrived and it was easier to roll out of than bed. Bed was warm and although slightly crowded of late, it was comfortable enough that once there, he'd never want to leave.

"Can I have this juice? Is it still good?" Rolling over, his hand over his eyes to block out the light, Makishima shrugged.

"I didn't know we even had juice. I'd check it first."

"How two grown men live here on take out alone is amazing. How are you not rolling in your own filth." Yawning as he flicked on the television and browsed through the English speaking stations to get to the one Japanese language station they paid double the rate for, Makishima shrugged.

"We have a cleaning lady. Don't look so surprised, everybody does it here."

Returning from the kitchen, glass of juice in hand, Toudou collapsed over his rival's legs, watching the TV screen with little interest.

"It just seems lazy to me. How hard is it to do the washing?" Sitting up but leaving his long legs draped over the dark haired boy's lap, Makishima sighed.

"When working and studying and training? Pretty hard. Can I have some of that?" Pointing to the juice hopefully, he was shut down as Toudou shook his head.

"Nope, it's the last glass and I need sweet things, it's good for cravings." Gesturing to his arm and the newly applied nicotine patch, he nodded sharply. "So this is my juice, unless you have any chocolate or apple pie or something." Laying back against the sofa, hands behind his head, Makishima shrugged.

"I'll just wait for dinner. You really did look good tonight." Grinning as he finished his juice, the smaller man smiled.

"I know right, I heard from my agent that they got some great shots. Good enough to get magazines. That kind of good." Pleased by the happy tone in his voice, Makishima zoned into the TV aimlessly until the buzzer rang and their food arrived.

Sorting through their tubs of food Toudou's eyes gleamed as he zoned in on his huge container of agnolotti.

"This is perfect. I missed my carbs." Laughing as he munched down his garlic bread and took a big whiff of his mushroom and feta risotto, Makishima dished out the rice to share between them.

"I don't know how you survived without pasta for such a long time. It's nothing short of a miracle." Pulling a face as he mopped up the remaining sauce with a crust of Makishima's finished garlic bread, Toudou sighed contently.

"I couldn't keep the weight off when I wasn't riding or training every day." Falling into silence as they enjoyed their meal, Makishima cleaned up, leaving the smaller man snuggled up against the sofa.

"You ready for bed?" Humming softly as he checked his phone and the time, the dark haired man heaved himself up and out of the soft leather.

"Yup, medicine time." Sorting through his bag and dealing with his dose for the night, Toudou wiggled under the blankets and enjoyed the feeling of weightlessness. Joined by Makishima moments later, the couple synchronised their breathing as sleep overtook them.

"You can eat all the pasta you want and get as fat as you want. I'll still love you." Laughing in the darkness, Toudou reached out and took Makishima's hand, squeezing gently.

"I'll hold you to that."

"Please do."

Rolling over against the light coming into his room, Makishima yawned, rubbed sleep from his eye.

"You slept better last night." During the first couple of nights of detox Toudou had been up and down the entire night. His sleeping patterns had been shot and with the methadone high kicking in for the first time, he could barely keep still let alone fall asleep.

"It was better tonight, I was only up once." Smiling as he rolled towards the sound of his rival's voice, Makishima stretched high as he struggled to sit up.

"Good, no shakes?" Holding up his hand to show it steady with only the occasional twitch, Toudou grinned at him.

"Nice and steady, feeling good. Thirsty though." Humming as he watched the smaller man slip out of bed and make his way to the kitchen, Makishima took a deep breath. Listening to the banter between his brother and friend, he slipped down the bed, wanting nothing more than to roll back into the wall and fall asleep. But with Toudou now up and wide awake, he doubted there would be any more sleep to have. "Maki-chan, do you want a drink?" Ignoring the giggle that came from Ren as Toudou called down the hall at him, he groaned.

"Coffee."

"Take out coffee for Maki-chan?" Drawing out the name as he stopped just shy of the door, Ren laughed at the exasperated noise his brother made. "Oh my God, that's so cute. Not even mum calls you that."

"Shush. I will have an espresso and Maki-chan will have a cappuccino. Do they have those tasty pastry things here in England?" Listening to the chatter increase until Toudou stepped back in and shut the door. "Your brother sure has a big mouth Maki-chan, how are you ever related?" Shrugging as the smaller man joined him back in bed, Makishima pushed him away as a glass of water was shoved in his face. Taking a sip without sitting up, he jumped slightly as Toudou suddenly pounced upon him. "Good morning Maki-chan."

Grinning as a soft, damp set of lips linked with his, the taller man reached up, threading his fingers through the inky hair of his lover.

"Good morning Jinpachi. Thanks for the coffee." Smiling against his lips, the smaller man kissed him quick.

"Don't thank me, apparently it's coming out of your rent." Putting on a groan but smiling, Makishima pulled the other man down to his level, looping his arms around his neck.

"You're paying me back for that."

"Willingly." Straddling his hips and pulling the blankets down past his waist, small nimble fingers tugged the shirt up over his shoulders. Leaving him shivery in the early morning chill.

"What are you doing? It's cold, give me the blanket back." Shaking his head with stupid smile on his face, Toudou ran from his hands down the soft, pale skin of his friend's chest.

"Paying you back." Rolling his eyes but shivering as the tingle in his groin grew, arousal pulsed through his veins.

"Just for the coffee or for dinner last night as well?" Arching his back and rising on his knees, Toudou grinned at the hitch in his rival's breath, feeling him shift and wiggle beneath him.

"It can be both." Laughing a little breathlessly, Makishima tugged at Toudou's shirt, raising an eyebrow as he watched the other man strip.

"It better be." Kissed silent by the smaller man, the green haired climber tapped his tongue against his rival's lips, listening to the needy noises coming from him with a smile.

It was possibly the best way to woke up in the morning. Hot, passionate kisses with needy hands and soft sounds of pleasure. Shedding their remaining clothes and falling back against the mattress with a small grunt, Makishima smiled up at his lover, kissed senseless as the heat and weight of his naked body pinned him to the mattress. Flushed and with eager hands mapping each other's body with an appreciation born of years of observation, Toudou moaned as he rubbed his cock against Makishima's mirroring erection.

"Do you want to-?" Cut off by a deep kiss, tongue slipping beyond the smaller man's lips to silence him, the green hair man nodded.

"Yes, absolutely."

"I haven't even said anything Maki-chan." Pouting slightly as he sat back on his heels, the ex mountain god glanced towards the door with a nod. "What if your brother comes back?" Groaning at his sense and logic, Makishima bent leant around Toudou to grab his phone and type out a quick message before chucking the phone away.

"He won't disturb us." But Toudou didn't seem to be listening, instead like a cat with a toy, he leaped upon the phone.

"What did you say?" Rolling his eyes, hands on his lover's hips, Makishima shook his head.

"Doesn't matter, hey pay attention here." Fisting the dark haired man's cock with a firm hand, he grinned at the knee jerk reaction that rocketed through him. Dropping the phone on the bed and tensing at the touch, Toudou bit his lip and his heart raced.

"Maki-chan. Why did it take this long?" Laughing, his face blushing a bright red, the tall man shrugged.

"I actually don't know." Watching the his rival arch his hips and rise on his knees, beautiful skin and perfect muscle tone on display, Makishima licked his lips. "But I won't want to ever wait again." Surprised by the ease of which his body reacted to the other man's touch, Toudou rubbed a hand over his chest, teasing his nipples as he watched the other climber watch him. He knew how to pose, what looked good on him and how to look pleasing to the eye. And right now, naked and spread out before his long time friend, he caught his lip between his teeth and moaned in pleasure.

He looked so beautiful. Vanity and ego was one thing, but the dark haired man was truly a beauty. Objectively and in Makishima's skewed opinion, he painted a gorgeous picture. A ball breaking beautiful picture that made his blood boil and his heart race.

"God you're pretty." Laughing as he squirmed back, raging hard on riding against his ass, Toudou kissed his rival passionately.

"I know Maki-chan, but it means so much more coming from you." Thrusting up into the intense heat surrounding his cock, the mountain god was afire with arousal and love. "More." Shrugging against the mattress, hands focusing on pleasuring his lover, Makishima was drawing a blank. His inexperience and general nervousness was making it hard to think what more could ever mean. "With your fingers, Maki-chan." The cheeky grin on his face was irritating at best, so Makishima looked around nervously for something to use as some kind of lubricant. He didn't know much about this kind of activity but he knew that when in doubt, lubricate.

"In the beside table, I have stuff for my hands." Toudou raised an eyebrow as he leant over the other man and sorted around in the top draw.

"I'm surprised Maki-chan, so lewd." Rolling his eyes and taking the pump bottle in hand, Makishima squirted a portion into his palm, rubbing his hands together.

"You talk too much." Pouting, his purple eyes half lidded and clouded with lust, Toudou leant down and pressed a small kiss to his lips.

"And it was just days ago you were complaining I wasn't talking enough." Scoffing, his hands warm and slick, the tall man stroked up and down, feeling the smaller man shudder stiffly.

Squirming as he rolled his shoulders, Makishima's hand working him over with strong strokes, long and slender fingers reached beneath his spread thighs. The warm, slick fingers running along the valley of his ass gently rubbed his tight little hole, nervous at first but gaining confidence as he moaned and rubbed his ass back against his hand. "Yes, just like that Maki-chan." Pleased by the breathlessness in his voice, reminiscent of their cycling days, the taller man pressed a little harder, surprised when the soft, puckered flesh gave way. Moaning out loud, his hand immediately jumping to the green haired man's chest, Toudou sighed. Surprised and a little out of his depth, Makishima curled his fingers, stroking deep inside his lover with a nervous hand.

"Am I doing it right? Does it hurt?" Shaking his head, cheeks pink and face twisted in pleasure, a moan caught in Toudou's throat.

"No, not at all. It's so good, please keep going." There was no endearing nickname tacked on at the end now. Breathing seemed like a struggle and he arched, sliding back on the length offered and feeling the reach he couldn't usually feel himself. "More Maki-chan, another." Awkwardly jerking his cock as he slipped another finger beside his first, the ex-Souhoku climber took a shaky breath, his own arousal making his head spin and his cock ache. "Stretch." Tearing his eyes away from the beauty and glory of Jinpachi's flushed, dripping cock, Makishima hummed.

"What?" Smirking a little, Toudou reached back and directed his lover's fingers to scissor and spread, stretching and preparing him adeptly, jumping as he felt the zing of something special deep inside him.

"Like this Maki-chan. It feels good. Like really good, especially..." His breath hitching as he bit his lip and squeaked a little, Toudou put on a brave face. "Especially when you touch just there." Grinning and surprised by his own ability, Makishima watched the absolute ecstasy as Toudou came apart under his hand. The wet heat coating his hand seconds later was undoubtedly the best accomplishment he'd felt almost all year. Fashion shows and successful designs didn't even come close. This was his most beautiful creation, a gasping, red faced Jinpachi Toudou, moaning out loud as he came into Makishima's fist.

"I can't." Struggling over his words, sweat soaking his hair and mouth dry, "Maki-chan, I need it now. Like right now." Looking worried and feeling his heart rate increase, the taller man nodded dumbly.

"Um, okay?" Shaking his head as he looked down at his friend's soiled hand, Toudou blushed.

"Your cock." Reaching back and curling his fingers around his lover's length, the dark haired man rubbed it along his ass, feeling the tip line up against that sensitive little spot. Nodding furiously, Toudou pushed back, directing the piercing stretch that came over his body. "Just like that, slowly Maki-chan, you're too big." He was so full of flattery this morning, Makishima was amazed by the needy little creature that sank down on his cock. It was intoxicating and so very, very hot. The tight hold on his cock was intensified as Toudou moaned, back arching and pushing down deeper. Regardless of the slick mess coating his hands, Makishima reached out for a hand hold, gripping onto the smaller man's hips and holding on tight. He couldn't speak. Even if he wanted to, he didn't know what to say. It was all too much, so overwhelming and hot, it was like he was drowning. And with the sudden and very welcome pressure of a set of lips on his, he was thankful for the lack of need for words when he all but howled as his cock pulsed and Toudou twisted, catlike.

"Damn it Jinpachi, do that again."

Laughing in his mouth, Toudou's look of superiority made him nip out and bite his nose. "Don't laugh at me, just do it again." Rolling his hips in an almost dance-like sway, the sensation that ran down his spine and pushed all his buttons almost had him cumming. "Again again again." Surprised by the volume in his own voice, Makishima's hands dug into the smaller man's slender hips hard enough to bruise. Hips snapping as he pushed his rival that little bit closer to the edge, Toudou lost his breath at the elegance and sheer eroticism of watching the man beneath him come undone. Shooting his seed deep inside Toudou's ass, Makishima saw stars as his eyes rolled back in his head. It felt good. Better then he'd ever thought possible and all shared with his best friend, the rival he'd reclaimed with love and support.

His whole world was blurred, his vision fading in and out, especially as Toudou laid down beside him. Body trembling as he came down from the incredibly erotic high, Makishima licked his lips as he took his lover's hand, holding tight as he took a deep breath.

"Is it always like that? Like that intense?"

"Mmm hmm." Leaning up on his elbows, purple eyes looked clear and warm as he leant down to kiss his cheek. "Usually and always just as messy." Looking down his body with a grimace, the small man stuck out his tongue. "Gross." Chuckling as he managed a small kiss on his chin, the couple jumped as Makishima's phone started to ring out.

"Hello?" Answering in English as the private number popped up on screen, Makishima regretted picking up seconds later.

"Hahahahahahahahaha! You lost your virginity! Finally! I gotta call mum! She's going to be so prou-" Hanging up with a sigh, the tall man snapped his phone shut, as the laughter coming through the phone echoed out from down the hall. "I'm still calling mum!" Hearing Ren's last comment with a frown, Toudou cocked his head to the side.

"Maki-chan?"

"Just ignore him, he's being an asshole." Humming as he struggled back down, the dark haired man yawned.

"Oh okay, let's just stay in bed all day Maki-chan. I don't want to do anything, unless it's showering and eating. That I will do." Laughing as he slid back down the bed and pulled Toudou close, Makishima kissed his inky dark hair and sighed.

"I'm so happy you're here."

"I'm so happy to be here, Maki-chan."


End file.
